On my very first date with my boyfriend, I didn’t know if he was going to kiss me. I didn’t know yet that he loves baking stuff such as donuts. But I didn't know for certain that I wanted this person with whom I’d just eaten lunch to be in my life. Flash forward six intense, crazy-in-love months and this man is not only boyfriend — he is my closest friend now, too, the one who knows everything about what goes on with my family, what goes on at work, what weird dreams woke me up in the middle of the night.
And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing.He is my boyfriend, he’s my best friend, but he’s also filling a vacancy that slowly opened up in my life recently. You see, I don’t have a lot of friends. No, I’m not a complete nutter who can’t keep any friends, I swear. It’s just that, in the past few days, all my closest friends have scattered, literally, around the world. Don’t misunderstand me about what my relationship is; it’s amazing, he’s amazing, and I don’t want to sound as if I am ungrateful that he’s my best friend, too. I’m glad my relationship is rooted in a friendship as opposed to, say, lust or greed or any of the other emotions that compel two individuals to pair up.
My boyfriend is a friend to whom I want to do things I don’t want to do to my other friends. And that’s where the mental compartmentalization comes in. A boyfriend shouldn’t be everything to me, right? What lovers have together isn’t the same thing as what friends have together and I don’t want any obfuscation. My boyfriend is definitely my best friend, and I enjoy it immensely. Nobody knows me like he does. We get all the fun sexytime goodness and romantic stability mixed in with the carefree fun (and rampant idiocy) of being best friends. I am, for the most part, very minimally girly, so we spend a crazy amount of time just playing video games & cooking some food for breakfast.
Boyfriend who is your best friend often becomes your husband. And that is a good thing.
Life isn't perfect. It's messy...You don't have to be perfect.
What if we said that ourselves every day? What if we surrounded ourselves with people who confirmed this statement, that we didn't have to be perfect? I'm pretty sure that I'm my worst enemy in this department. I don't think anyone in my life expects me to be perfect. The only one who expects perfection is me. And this desperate search for perfection comes at a cost. It has a high price of perpetual dissatisfaction.
Identifying the problem is the first step! Now that I know that I am always striving to be perfect and that I deep down believe I will someday have a perfect life (which doesn't happen to anyone), it's time to face this problem head-on. No more perfectionism in my life! Perfectionism -- no big surprise -- causes a lot of anxiety. I don't want that kind of anxiety in my life and - YAY! - this is something I can control. I can choose not to be a perfectionist. Instead, I can choose to be positive.
6 Ways To Stop Being Perfect and Start Being Happy
Stop criticizing and judging.
This, of course, is a HUGE one. If you are able to stop judging yourself and others, you're a lot less likely to be in perfection mode. Perfection comes from the idea that everything has to be a certain way. But who says it has to be that way? Who says you have to look a certain way or dress a certain way? Who says you have to act this way or that way? Okay, yes, we all live in societies and sub-societies that have certain standards, but we don't always have to live up to those standards. And we can make our own standards!
Learn to go with the flow.
Man, oh, man this is a hard one for me! I've never, ever been a go-with-the-flow kinda girl. I like to be in control, holding the reigns, setting the pace. I don't like to go along for the ride or just sit back and relax. But, when it comes to battling perfectionism, learning to just chill is REALLY important. Life is unpredictable. There are going to be unexpected twists and turns and being able to deal with changes is essential to living a positive life. We can't control everything and this is something I really, really need to work on reminding myself every day.
Know that everything has a reason.
Many of you might not be down with this idea, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Even the most horrific, awful things in my life have taught me something, have made me the person I am today. It's not easy to remember this when dealing with a crisis or heartbreak, but it's so important to remember that life is what it is. Some things are out of our control and we just have to realize that someday the reason for what happens will be explained. I do my best to learn from every mistake, every bad situation, and all of these little lessons have added up to make me the person I am right now.
Look at the big picture of life.
I try to ask myself this every time I'm freaking about something not being as perfect as I would like it to be: Will this matter in five months? Five years? Usually the answers to these questions are "NO!" Most of the things I get myself all worked up about don't really impact my life in the long run. Emotional wounds always heal with time. Though I might be panicky and worried right now, in a few days, weeks, months, or years, I won't be worried about it anymore. When I find that I'm stressing about something small (which I do more often than I should), I need to remind myself to look at the big picture and pose the questions: "How important is this? Is it really worth all of the stress and anxiety?"
Take time for a time out.
Sometimes the best thing to do when I'm feeling like nothing is going the way I want it to go is to take a time out. Removing myself from a situation can be the best way to get a fresh perspective on it. When I'm working hard to get something perfect -- whether it be an outfit for a night out, a blog post, or a serious work-related task -- it's hard for me to step away. I'm in a zone and I'm focused and I don't want to waste any time. However, whenever I force myself to pull away from what I'm doing, I find that I usually come back with fresh ideas and a new perspective which helps me not to be so perfection-driven.
Appreciate what's working for you.
This goes back to the idea I talk about a lot - loving yourself. You most likely have a lot of great things going on and you don't even notice these things when you're focused on making everything perfect. When I'm seeking perfection, I don't take time to realize what's good in my life and my level of gratitude seems to be a lot lower. It's really important to realize what is awesome about your life and to be grateful for all of the things/people/experiences in it. Doing this will make perfection seem a lot less necessary.
Those of you who aren't perfectionists might not really understand what a burden it can be to always be striving for this unobtainable goal. As I said above, there is no such thing as a perfect life. You might have a great life. You might have a happy life. But no one -- no matter how hard he or she tries -- will have a perfect life. This is a fact I must accept and embrace. Knowing that life will never be perfect, that I will never be perfect, will take a lot of the pressure off. If you know you can't be perfect, you have to settle for being the best you can be. And, right now, that sounds pretty good to me.
I respect your right to choose for yourself, but I do not have to respect you or what you choose. Conversely, you do not have to respect me or what I choose for myself. Receipt of this notice does not necessarily mean I think you are a drama queen or control freak, but several recipients definitely qualify as both in my opinion and some people qualify as one or the other or both to varying degrees. For most of you, this is just an FYI and for entertainment purposes. Please refrain from jumping to conclusions.
If you are a drama queen and/or a control freak and I still communicate and interact with you, then the value you add to my life far exceeds the critical tolerance level I have for drama queens and control freaks. I am not obligated to interact or communicate with you or anyone. You are not obligated to me whatsoever.
If I ever hang up on you while talking on the telephone or I walk away from you in the middle of an argument, it is probably because you are exhibiting too much drama and/or you are in control-freak mode and any logical discourse from you has been replaced with unrealistic demands and/or excessive emotional drama.
If you can argue logically and make reasonably accurate statements about your concerns, plus you let me present my argument logically and address my concerns without interrupting, then fine. I am all for that type of debating. Anything other than that is a waste of my time and I will cut you short. Feel free to continue babbling as I walk away or hang up. Any physical encroachment upon my personal space due to your escalated drama will be considered assault and I will use defensive physical force and the law to protect myself and others. So, expect a rude awakening if you attempt anything so stupid.
If I send you a written note about any particular issue instead of talking to you on the telephone or conversing face to face with you, it is because I am being smart. This is my way to bypass annoying interruptions! Arguing with a drama queen and/or control freak is a waste of time since it is usually impossible for a drama queen and/or control freak to argue rationally. Besides controlling an argument, a control freak wants to be seen as right and winning, regardless if they are right or not. Besides an award for best dramatic actor, a drama queen wants people to know how violated and emotional they feel, regardless if the infraction they claim is real or not.
Rules of Engagement
I am not obligated to let you deal with me only on your terms. If your terms reasonably match my terms of rules of engagement, then we have a conversation. I am more than happy to deal with people who are rational, honest, safe, and at least considerate in the arena of debating. Disrespect toward me will be returned in kind to you and the conversation will probably be ended by me.
If you think I am harsh and too abrupt, then I highly recommend that you bypass me completely. I seriously do not care what you think of me and how I behave. I am typically up-front, honest, and opinionated which some people take as being harsh, but that is your interpretation and you are free to interpret any way you want. Jump to conclusions and blow things out of proportion and you will probably wind up on my pending bypass list. Continue your antics and I will probably move you to the final bypass list without notice or warning.
I no longer tolerate excessive control freaks.
If you insist on always telling people how to live their lives, or how to behave, or you have set requirements for other people and you try to force your requirements, then you are a control freak. If you are offended and rant and rave when someone does not take your suggestions, then you are probably a control freak and a drama queen.
You are wasting your time trying to make me think your way, or trying to make me behave how you want me to behave, or to have me say and/or not say certain words. I live my life my own way. If you do not like the way I live my life and how I interact with you or other people, then I suggest you bypass me completely.
My life and how I live my life is none of your business. I am confident and secure with myself completely, so any attempts by you to make me change as you see fit will be met with a quick salute of my middle finger and a resounding “FUCK OFF!”
You have enough of your own issues, so go control-freak your own life. If you continue to force your control-freakiness on me, I will bypass you completely. I am not obligated to you in any way.
I will no longer tolerate control freaks and I will let you know verbally or via other means abruptly, harshly and maybe even leave you with a few choice cuss words. If you think I am not being politically correct, you would be correct! Political correctness is a control-freak way of restricting freedoms and I consider it a load of crap. This is how I roll, dawgs! Drama Queens
I will no longer tolerate excessive drama queens.
If you take an offensive position and come at me or anyone with juvenile name-calling and ranting about how offended you are by our actions or words, then you are a drama queen. Whaaa, whaaa whaaa, poor you! I probably will not have any sympathy for you. Get a grip and get a life, or not — it’s your choice! If you let your emotions get the better of you, and all you can think to do is try to belittle someone or attempt to mentally abuse someone with your mindless banter and name-calling, then you are a drama queen. Defensive payback is a bitch, so you are forewarned.
If you want to communicate and interact with me, then try it without your impulse to control me or to add excessive drama. I seriously lose respect for people who are control freaks and drama queens. If I avoid and ignore you and drop all communications with you, then you more than likely excessively overextended your neurotic behavior in my direction. I have absolutely no problems with removing myself completely from your sphere of influence and I will bypass you completely.
We can choose our friends but we cannot choose the family into which we are thrust. I am not obligated to anyone regardless of the association between us. If that irks you, then that is your problem.
I will not lose sleep over any of this and I never have. Drama queens lose sleep because their psychology is to replay issues over and over in their minds. Control freaks lose sleep over things that they want to control but cannot control.
What you think of me is none of my business and conversely, what I think of you is none of your business. The only thing that will influence what I think of you, good or bad, is how you handle yourself with me and other people and whether or not you ever change.
I've found that he, Max got own very true point on this writing. wonder he had these experience though.
1. Snap kat bilik hostel kite. singlet tu baru je beli tadi sebab tengok cam cute je US flag tuh. hee :p
2. Ni malam tadi ada budak hostel bagi kt saya. actually kitorang kenal kat FB je tapi x sangka dia 1 kampus dengan saya. nama dia aza arashi. sorry aza, mase awak dtg kat bilik, saya tengah mandi. thanks bagi kacang kat saya. nanti datang-datanglah ke bilik saya taw! psst, bearbear kite pun nak posing jgk kat belakang tuh. hehe <33
3. Haa, ni bearbear yang hubby saya bagi aritu. sayang sangat kat bearbear ni. malam-malam mesti saya hug dia bawak tido. sorry debab, jangan jeles mama memang akan hug-hug bearbear ni bile tido. iloveyousomuch papa! :3
saya jenis akan hargai setiap barang yang saya dapat. so jangan terkejut kalau sampai tua pun barang tu still ada dalam simpanan saya. sentimental value gitu.
Hi there people! on this day ive made a sign picture for my beloved debab which is i should make one before & also some pose for my new fringe. actually i did rebond and cut some hairs. it was costs for rm220. thanks to my hubby for paying this treatment on that day (eventho he straight away went to his house after read some messages of mine, & yes he left me all alone by myself). naaa its okay cuz we had fixed the misunderstanding. tehehe :p ive found some lyric to dedicate to him. actually ive been waiting years for the right guy to dedicate this song and yes ive found one now...
Your Guardian Angel
By : The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
When I see your smile Tears roll down my face I can't replace And now that I'm strong I have figured out How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall (let you fall) I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Seasons are changing And waves are crashing And stars are falling all for us Days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall (let you fall) I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart Please don't throw that away Cuz I'm here for you Please don't walk away and Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah
Use me as you will Pull my strings just for a thrill And I know I'll be okay Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven
for once in a lifetime ive found someone special who crossed me deeply in his heart.
Cher Lloyd (born 28 July 1993) is an English singer from Malvern, Worcestershire. Cher rose to fame in 2010 when she participated in reality TV series The X Factor, to which she finished in fourth place. Shortly afterwards, Cher was signed by Simon Cowell to Sony Records subsidiarySyco Music, releasing her debut single "Swagger Jagger" in June 2011. Despite receiving negative reviews, the single entered at number-one in the UK chart and number-two in the Irish chart. Her second single "With Ur Love" was released on 31 October, featuring Mike Posner, and reached number-four in the UK, and number-five in Ireland, preceding her debut albumSticks + Stones, which reached number-four in the UK Albums Chart and number-seven in theIrish Albums Chart. Lloyd's two singles have been viewed over 47.3 million times on YouTube. Cher Lloyd used to live in Malvern with her parents Darren and Dina, and three younger siblings; brother Josh, and sisters Sophie and Rosie. She use to live in a apartment in London with her boyfriend Craig Monk. Lloyd attended The Chase, and Dyson Perrins CE Sports College, where she studied performing arts in 2009. She also attended theatre arts school Stagecoach, also held at Dyson Perrins CE Sports College out of school time. Before The X Factor, Lloyd took part in the X Factor-inspired Sin and Bushwackers' Text Factor, in which she came second.