Friday, 31 August 2012

Okay guys, nak buat pengumuman sikit. Saya telah berpindah blog. Kepada sesiapa yang nak follow tu sila ke link ini :


Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Zhuyin Cloud & Kitty Goregeous

My beloved husband,

When I was a little girl, I played make believe.
I pretended to cook and clean and to be a Momma to my baby dolls.
But in my naive mind, I imagined a man, a husband. He was brave and strong and very handsome. And he loved me.
It was a dream.
And some might call this a silly fairy tale or the immature longings of a girl who loved romance.
But I call it my life.
Because you are the man of my dreams.
You are the first to hold me when I am afraid.
You are my encourager when I doubt myself.
Last few months you turn 21 years old. And more than anything, I want you to know that I love you more than I ever dreamed.
You are a man among men. You stand out as you lead our family. You are my heart, my life, my best friend, my soul mate.
You are unique and beautiful.
And you are mine.

Happy Birthday, husband. I cried when you told me you sacrificed ur teenager's fun time just to focus on ur study and get the good job within 8 years & soon, propose me as ur wife .

That request alone, makes you a hero in my world. I am so proud of you.
Thank you for making my dreams come true.
For some reason, I find it difficult to express my love in words.
I love you so much that words just are not within my reach.
I first want to thank you for the last 1 year and half. I know from the bottom of my heart you truly have lived up to your vows.

We vowed “in sickness and in health”. We certainly have seen our share of both of these conditions, our faith in God has surely been tested. 
We vowed “for richer or poorer” well that experience has certainly been ours too. 

Now, did we realize what that truly meant when we made those vows? Did we understand the multiple meaning at the time we made them? 
There were times of poorer yet sometimes they were our richest times. How does one not appreciate the strengths and wonders discovered during what was seemingly the worst times of our lives. How many of our vows have overlapped. We had sickness with poorer and richness with sickness; health with wealth and poverty with health. But we were and are still on top of the world. 

Forever you and I together, left to create.
There is no mistake, you still make my stomach knot,
to which then my tongue ties, no longer can I conjure a thought.
You are my love, always have you been with me,
forever the memories of our past, to which I hope there are some to make.
Know that each and every word is spoken from my heart
Forever you have shown yourself true.

*borrowing words from Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole Mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that Rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompetence.
Thy love is such I can no way repay.
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever...

Your forever loving wife,

Sunday, 22 April 2012

one day, the world looks like an open page
and youve been dancing as fast as you can with a smile on your face 
and then the earth and the sky, they all fit together
and carry me away as light as a feather
chase the clouds from the ground
in the big blue sky don’t wanna watch it all blow by

so i’m gonna flyyyy
higherrr than i ever could
feel the wind blow thru my hair
feel the sun dance with the moonand my feet can’t stay on the ground any longer
with every leap of faith i feel a little stronger
wanna swing from a star in the big blue sky
don’t wanna watch it all go by 
so i’m gonna fly

and see for myself what it looks like from up there
taste the starrrdust in my mouth
chase the clouds until they disappear

and if i can make just one life better
bring a smile to your face when you’re under the weather
then i’m feelin’ like i’ve finally found my home
i’ll plant the seeds and watch them grow
and i’m gonna fly

내 눈엔...
너 만 보인다는말...
난...거짓말이라고 생각해...
내눈엔 많은 사람들이 보여..
그 치만..그 많은 사람들 중에서
" 너만을 찾게돼..."

In my eyes...
The saying that you're the only one I see...
That, I believe is a lie...
In my eyes, I see a lot of people...
But, throughout that group of people,
I only search for you.

춤추라, 아무도 바라보고 있지 않은 것처럼.
사랑하라, 한 번도 상처받지 않은 것처럼.
노래하라, 아무도 듣고 있지 않은 것처럼.
일하라, 돈이 필요하지 않은 것처럼.
살라, 오늘이 마지막 날인 것처럼.

Dance like noone is watching.
Love, like you've never loved before.
Sing, as if nobody is listening.
Work, as if you're not looking for money.
And live, as if today was your last day.

"첫눈에 반하는것... 일분 걸린다.
누군가를 좋아하게 되는것... 한시간.
누군가를 사랑하게 되는 시간... 하루..
누군가를 잊는것... 평생 걸린다.."
-진주 목걸이

It takes one minute to fall in love at first sight...
One hour to like someone...
One day to love someone...
And a lifetime to forget someone...

" 내 눈은 너만 찾고
내 머리가 너만 기억하고 있고
내 입이 니 이름안 외치고 있잖아

이젠 나 어떻하면 좋니?

내 맘은 너밖에 없는데
미칠겄 갔은데 ...

"My eyes only find you
My mind only remembers you
I'm only yelling your name

What am I supposed to do?

My heart only knows you ..
I think I'm going to go crazy ... "

어제... 고마웠어요.

오늘도 고마웠구요.

내일도 고마울꺼예요

처음부터 고마웠어요.

내 눈길 내 손길 하나에 행복해 했다던 당신의 고백을 들은

그 순간 부터.

그렇게 당신의 뛰는 심장소리가 다 들릴 정도로 가까이 다가가

내가 당신의 팔에 조심스레 팔장을 끼며

우리가 나란히 걷던 그 순간 부터.

그때 부터 쭈욱 너무 많이 고마워요.

아마 평생 고마울것 같아요.

당신이라는 사람은.

Thanks for yesterday...
Thanks for today...
I'm going to be thankful tomorrow too
I was thankful from the beginning
When you confessed that my eyes, my hands were all that it took to make you happy
From that moment on...
I went closer to you so that I can hear the sound of your heartbeat
I wrapped my arms into yours carefully
And from the moment we walked together side by side
From that moment on, thank you so much
I'm probably going to be thankful all of my life
For someone like you.


이건 정말 비밀인데요

당신이 아직도 보고싶어요

아직도 당싱 전화번호를 기억하고

당신의 버릇도

당신의 습관도

당신의 말투도

생생히 기억해요

이런 나는 어쩌면 좋을까요.

You know...
This is really a secret but
I still miss you
I still remember your phone number
Your habits...
Your ways (sorta the same as habits)
The way you talk too
I remember everything so clearly
What am I going to do with myself?

-모든 게 얼마나 완벽한지 깨닫게 되면 머리를 뒤로 젖히고 하늘에 대고 웃게 될 거예요. 

- " When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky. "

내가 갈 때마다, 난 U에 대해 생각하고

Whenever I go, I am thinking about u..

사람이 내가 그를 사랑하는 이유 전해달라고 쥐어 짜다해야한다면, 난 그것이 전혀 다르게 답변을함으로써보다 표현된다 찾을 수 없음 : 그것이 나도 그랬어 때문에, 그가 있었기 때문

''If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him, I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer: because it was he, because it was I.''

키스해 줘 당신은 별을 볼 것이다; 
나를 사랑하고 당신에게 제공할 것입니다.

Kiss me and you will see stars; 
love me and I will give them to you.

당신의 말은 내 음식, 숨을 내 와인입니다.
 넌 내게 전부에요..

Your words are my food, your breath my wine. 
You are everything to me.

당신은 당신의 왕자를 발견했을 때에만 얼굴에 미소를 않기 때문 알고 있지만 당신의 마음에서뿐만 아니라

You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well


Thursday, 19 April 2012

Dear Abdul Hakim...

"My night has become a sunny dawn because of you."

"When you came, you were like red wine and honey, and the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness."

"The life and love we create is the life and love we live."

"Like music on the waters is thy sweet voice to me."

"So dear I love him that with him, All deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life."

"A simple I love you means more than money."

“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where your headed” 

“He looked so lost, so soulful, so lonely. I wanted him to kiss me now. I wanted to let him know I was his for all eternity.” 

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.”

truely loves you,

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

"When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you."

"If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever."

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."

"So dear I love him that with him, All deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life."

"The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss."

"Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end."

"We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first."

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius."

"As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you."

"In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her."

"A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it."

"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."

"Sometimes love is just a lot of heartache, but when u find a person who loves u for u then u are in true love and it will last forever...."

"You talk too much, you laugh too loud, that's the price of love."

"Forgiveness breaks the chain of causality because he who forgives you -- out of love--takes upon himself the consequences of what you have done. Forgiveness, therefore, always entails a sacrifice."

"Nothing is more beautiful than the love that has weathered the storms of life. The love of the young for the young, that is the beginning of life. But the love of the old for the old, that is the beginning of things longer."


Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Well hello sweethearts! as u can see now, i just made a simple makeup tutorial here. credit to a friend of mine cuz she had willing to be my 1st trial's. first & foremost I'd like to say that making this tutorial doesn't mean that I'm into some sort of publicity or whatsoever. with this tutorial, I want to share to your friends on how easy to apply make-up products. all eligible women to be beautiful.

Steps achieving perfectionist :

1. First, I will use the foundation as the first layer. This cream will be applied on the flat face to the ground. selection of the foundation should be appropriate due to skin structure which is not all cream products can be used to your skin. Here I use the cream Safi Rania Gold.

2. After wearing foundation, I will apply Johnson & Johnson's face powder . sweep across the face so as not to look spotted, spots.

3. This third step will focus on how to apply eye shadow to your eyelids. this time, I used three colors of eye shadow cream yellowish brown, brown and dark brown liquid. this kind of colors is used to our eyes appeared to be more substantial and interesting. These colors are also very suitable to the slanting-eyed the first layer, apply a yellowish brown eye shadow across the eyelid above. then apply the color of melted chocolate eye shadow on top near the eyebrows. when applied to the two colors, apply a dark brown eye shadow just at the end of the eye to look smokey.the next step, apply a liquid brown eye shadow under your eyes (rub half points). and a little white eyeshadow color next to it.

4. then, draw on your eyes with liquid eyeliner. exaggerates the end of the line a little eye liner to look like cat eyes.

5. okay, after that you can apply a little blush on your cheekbones. This time I use Avon product for a very interesting color of natural reddish.

So here's the result !! :

Kitty Goregeous & her trial's

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. and when that person has ugly thoughts everyday, every week, every year, the face gets uglier & uglier until it gets so ugly u can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose & a crooked mouth & a double chin & stick-out teeth, but if u have good thoughts they will shine out of ur face like sunbeams & u will always look lovely.


Monday, 12 March 2012

Hai girls! today Kitty mahu ajar u alls resepi kek coklat. mesti ramai yang cakap, buat kek ni payah lah susah lah tapi sebenarnya mudah je. kitty selalu jugak buat kek kalau ada freetime. kitty sebenarnya lebih ke arah masak memasak lauk-pauk daripada baking ni so xteror sangatlah nak baking lebih-lebih. hehe. okaylah enjoy!!


1 cawan serbuk coklat 

1 cawan gula pasir

1 cawan marjerin cair

1 cawan susu cair

1/2 cawan susu pekat

1 1/4 cawan tepung gandum 

1 sudu kecil serbuk penaik

1 sudu kecil soda bikarbonat

3 biji telur (pukul)


1. Campur serbuk coklat, gula pasir, susu dan marjerin.

2. Panaskan di atas api, sampai gula larut (jangan hangus!)

3. Angkat dan sejukkan.

4. Sementara itu campur tepung, serbuk penaik dan soda bikarbonat, dan ayak.

5. Tuang susu manis ke dalam adunan yang disejukkan tadi, gaul rata.

6. Masukkan pula telur dan gaul rata lagi.

7. Masukkan seluruh campuran ke dalam tepung, aduk perlahan hingga sebati.

8. Tuangkan ke dalam acuan dan kukus selama sejam.

PESAN SAJI : Adunan akan naik dua kali ganda. Oleh itu gunakan loyang yang tinggi dan besar.



Friday, 9 March 2012

Hey ladies! today Kitty Goregeous mahu berkongsi tips bagaimana cara menghilangkan jerawat. meh la kite same-same praktikkan ye!

Petua 1
Ambil sepotong ubi kayu. Kupas kulitnya. Buang kulitnya. Bersihkan. Parutkan. Perah untuk dapatkan airnya. Sapukan air perahan pada muka anda yang ada bekas jerawat. Lakukan setiap hari selama seminggu. Insya-Allah, kesannya memuaskan.

Petua 2
Tumbuk beberapa batang kulit kayu manis dan jadikan serbuk. Campurkan dengan sedikit air. Sapukan pada bekas jerawat. Amalkan selama seminggu.

Petua 3 :
 Ambil 10 helai daun sireh muda, Bersihkan dan tumbuk lumat. Muka hendaklah dibersihkan dengan air suam dan sapukan sireh pada muka terutama di bahagian bekas jerawat. Biarkan kira-kira setengah jam atau hingga kering. Cuci muka bersih-bersih dan lap kering. Amalkan 3 kali seminggu.

Petua 4 :
 Selain daripada ulam yang enak dan berkhasiat, pegaga juga boleh digunakan untuk menghilangkan tanda hitam parut jerawat di muka. Caranya ialah dengan mengisar daun pegaga dengan bedak sejuk dan air secukupnya. Pupukkan adunan tersebut di tempat tanda hitam parut jerawat di muka anda setiap hari atau setiap malam sebelum tidur. Campuran kisaran pegaga dan bedak sejuk tersebut boleh disimpan di dalam peti sejuk dengan memasukkannya ke dalam botol yang kering.

Petua 5
Asah kulit kayu manis dan campurkan dengan madu lebah. Tempelkan pada muka yang berparut setiap malam. Esoknya, cucilah dengan air suam.

Petua 6
Tumbuk sepuluh helai daun sireh muda. Tempelkan pada muka terutama bekas jerawat. Setelah kering, cuci muka dengan air bersih. Amalkan 3 kali seminggu.

Petua 7
Kisar timun dan tapis airnya.Tampalkan hampas timun pada wajah yang berparut. Biarkan setengah jam. Kemudian cuci


Friday, 24 February 2012

1. Touch her waist.

2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.


11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!


26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.


31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.

35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.


36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.


41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.

You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love .. ♥


Saturday, 18 February 2012

*(Tips dari web :

1) Tarik perhatian suami dengan melakukan teknik yang berbeza dan mendebarkan seperti membuka pakaian secara perlahan-lahan, bermula dengan butang paling atas dengan aksi yang menghairahkan.

2) Cuba rapatkan dada anda ke dada suami dan dakaplah suami anda dengan dakapan penuh nafsu.

3) Mainkan rambut anda ditubuhnya. Belaian rambut anda mungkin dapat membangkit ghairah suami. Jangan lupa belai juga rambut, misi atau bulu dada suami anda jika ada.

4) Buat gigitan manja di leher atau bahagian lain tubuh. Gigitan ini boleh merangsang keinginan suami. Selain itu, suami akan ingat anda apabila melihat bekas gigitan itu.

5) Isteri juga boleh meninggalkan pakaian dalam di tempat tidur kerana suami sering ghairah apabila melihat benda-benda itu.

6) Tatap mata suami dengan pandangan yang mempesonakan.

7) Usap bahagian tubuh suami anda dengan usapan manja dan mesra dengan menggunakan hujung jari, dari dahi hingga ke belakang leher.

8 ) Hembus nafas anda ke telinga suami kerana hembusan boleh merangsang suami dan membuat dia tidak sabar mendakap anda.

9) Elak menyentuh kelemahan tubuh suami. Tumpukan pada bahagian lain seperti dada, puting atau lengannya yang sasa.

10) Sesekali pakailah pakaian dalam yang jarang dan menampakkan tubuh anda yang seksi atau memakai pakaian yang singkat dan menggiurkan.

11) Selepas mandi atau sebelum mengadakan hubungan seksual, pakai pakaian di hadapan suami. Ada lelaki yang suka melihat isteri memakai pakaian, bermula daripada pakaian dalam, coli dan bahagian-bahagian lain.

12) Jangan lupa, ketika hubungan seksual, selain dari alunan lagu yang syahdu atau klasik, haruman ditubuh juga boleh membangkitkan ghairah suami. Cuba menggunakan minyak wangi yang boleh menyeronokkan suami.

13) Usah terburu-buru dalam hubungan seksual. Ambil masa dan nikmatilah sepuas-puasnya.

14) Jika ingin lebih agresif. Tarik suami ke katil dan bertindak dahulu bagi memberikan suami suatu kejutan yang berbeza.

  Kepada yang belum kahwin, bolehlah catatkan tips ini dalam buku nota dan berazam sungguh-sungguh untuk praktikkan apabila dah berkahwin kelak. Bagi yang dah berumahtangga, jangan sekadar baca saja. Yang penting, amalkan apa yang kita dah tahu. Saya yakin, kalau kita dapat praktikkan apa yang dituliskan, pasti rumahtangga kita akan lebih harmoni dan bahagia, insyaAllah.


Hello sweethearts!! today nak post pasal 'reunion' kit. kat atas ni vid kitorang nyanyi lagu 'happy birthday' untuk hubby kit, Hakim @ Zhuyin Cloud. memang kelaka giler sebab Kim tak reti duduk diam. nak tangkap gambar dia pun payah; gerak sana, gerak sini. humm penat nak tangkap dia! >.< well, sebenarnya pagi2 tuh Qiqi Bunny datang kat hostel kit dulu untuk bermekap sume. biaselah kan perempuan memang kena bermekap dulu. lepas dah setting sume benda, kitorang pun jalan lah beramai2 nak naik LRT ke ts. bile dah sampai kit kena g kl sentral balik sebab nak amek bf kit dia datang sini naik train (ingatkan dia tak taw cane nak amek monorel, rupenya kim bantai gelak kata dia taw nak g ts) =..= penat kot Kit & Qiqi menapak ke sana. 

Bla, bla, bla, kitorang nak cari port makan/celeb birthday budak debab tuh tapi tak tau katne cuz kat bawah bising sangat. so Qiqi suggest lepak kat atas. not bad lah tempat tuh macam ada privacy sikit. tak ramai orang. after dah setengah makan sume barulah kawan kit si xera suraya datang. dah lama xjumpa dia. bertahun kot! sebab kit last jumpa Qiqi & Xera bertahun lepas. bile dah jumpa, paham-paham lah kan. nak memekak je.

Kitorang ni memang suke bersnap-snap. banyak lagi gambar tapi kit malas nak upload cuz wifi hostel sangat lembab! huh. bestlah makan, sebab sume dipayung oleh bf kit (eventho dia bday boy) haha. kit just support kek je. kesian dia dapat bini cam kit tak bagi adiah pape pun. takpe, next time kit bagi something kat kim. <3

Budak 2 orang ni kawan kit. tapi yg berselendang tuh kazen kit. dia 1 kampus dengan kit kat unikl miit (tapi dia under u-bis iaitu pelajar2 bisnes tepu) haha! sebelah tuh bf dia. comel gitu tengok mereka. hope korang kekal sampai ke jinjang pelamin okay sebab kit tak sabar nak makan nasi minyak korang. huhu. fariz awak pun dah umur 28 so cepat-cepatlah kahwin nanti senang aku dengan kim follow up korang. hahaha! insyaallah, bak kata hubby saya en.debab tuh kalau dah stabil segalanya barulah dia akan masuk minang saya. tak sabar nak merasa jadi bini orang. ;p

Ni lah gambar kami bertiga yang posing ala-ala hotstuff gitu. hotsentap adalah kan! hehe. tengok, kit pendek je. minah 2 orang tu tinggi tapi paling tinggi Qiqi lah kan. dah cam model pun ade. dia slalu cakap dia gemuk padahal tak pun! jangan nak perasan awak tuh gemuk sangat okay, kit & kim kata bdan Qiqi cantik. style awak pun dah macam seorang yang matang & bekerjaya. jelus! >.< hope dapat jumpa Qiqi lagi sebab dia best! sekepale dengan hubby saya. kalau dorang dah  mula bercakap, sampai merah padam muke saya malu gara-gara benda pelik-pelik dorang cerita aritu. huhu. okay lah sayang, kit out dulu. if nak jumpa, roger-rogerlah saya. hehe :3


Friday, 10 February 2012

Only you can make the darkness bright, Only you can fill my heart with light, Always in my thoughts but never in my sights, Without you I don't think I have the strength to win this fight..

Acting in anger and hatred throughout my life, I frequently precipitated what I feared most, the loss of friendships and the need to rely upon the very people I'd abused.

I hate you,
and then I love you.
It's like I want to throw you off a cliff,
then rush to the bottom to catch you.

I may looked cruel to you. I may looked like I don't give a damn about your tears. I know you won't care about me anymore, but I want u to know I'll always be your shoulder to cry, really i am...


Saturday, 4 February 2012

The things I've done, I can't explain.
I know because I know it hurts and causes pain.

I can't say I didn't know what I was doing.
I don't know what I was thinking or what I was proving.

We had a special love but I threw it all away.
I regret what I've done every second of the day.

If I could change the past believe me I would.
I would take away all the pain, if only I could.

So, now, all I can ask for is one last try
I'll love you until the day I die.


Friday, 27 January 2012



Wednesday, 25 January 2012

On my very first date with my boyfriend, I didn’t know if he was going to kiss me. I didn’t know yet that he loves baking stuff such as donuts. But I didn't know for certain that I wanted this person with whom I’d just eaten lunch to be in my life. Flash forward six intense, crazy-in-love months and this man is not only boyfriend — he is my closest friend now, too, the one who knows everything about what goes on with my family, what goes on at work, what weird dreams woke me up in the middle of the night.

And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing.He is my boyfriend, he’s my best friend, but he’s also filling a vacancy that slowly opened up in my life recently. You see, I don’t have a lot of friends. No, I’m not a complete nutter who can’t keep any friends, I swear. It’s just that, in the past few days, all my closest friends have scattered, literally, around the world. Don’t misunderstand me about what my relationship is; it’s amazing, he’s amazing, and I don’t want to sound as if I am ungrateful that he’s my best friend, too. I’m glad my relationship is rooted in a friendship as opposed to, say, lust or greed or any of the other emotions that compel two individuals to pair up.

My boyfriend is a friend to whom I want to do things I don’t want to do to my other friends. And that’s where the mental compartmentalization comes in. A boyfriend shouldn’t be everything to me, right? What lovers have together isn’t the same thing as what friends have together and I don’t want any obfuscation. My boyfriend is definitely my best friend, and I enjoy it immensely. Nobody knows me like he does. We get all the fun sexytime goodness and romantic stability mixed in with the carefree fun (and rampant idiocy) of being best friends. I am, for the most part, very minimally girly, so we spend a crazy amount of time just playing video games & cooking some food for breakfast.

Boyfriend who is your best friend often becomes your husband. And that is a good thing.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Life isn't perfect. It's messy...You don't have to be perfect.

What if we said that ourselves every day? What if we surrounded ourselves with people who confirmed this statement, that we didn't have to be perfect? I'm pretty sure that I'm my worst enemy in this department. I don't think anyone in my life expects me to be perfect. The only one who expects perfection is me. And this desperate search for perfection comes at a cost. It has a high price of perpetual dissatisfaction.

Identifying the problem is the first step! Now that I know that I am always striving to be perfect and that I deep down believe I will someday have a perfect life (which doesn't happen to anyone), it's time to face this problem head-on. No more perfectionism in my life! Perfectionism -- no big surprise -- causes a lot of anxiety. I don't want that kind of anxiety in my life and - YAY! - this is something I can control. I can choose not to be a perfectionist. Instead, I can choose to be positive.

6 Ways To Stop Being Perfect and Start Being Happy

Stop criticizing and judging. 

This, of course, is a HUGE one. If you are able to stop judging yourself and others, you're a lot less likely to be in perfection mode. Perfection comes from the idea that everything has to be a certain way. But who says it has to be that way? Who says you have to look a certain way or dress a certain way? Who says you have to act this way or that way? Okay, yes, we all live in societies and sub-societies that have certain standards, but we don't always have to live up to those standards. And we can make our own standards! 

Learn to go with the flow. 

Man, oh, man this is a hard one for me! I've never, ever been a go-with-the-flow kinda girl. I like to be in control, holding the reigns, setting the pace. I don't like to go along for the ride or just sit back and relax. But, when it comes to battling perfectionism, learning to just chill is REALLY important. Life is unpredictable. There are going to be unexpected twists and turns and being able to deal with changes is essential to living a positive life. We can't control everything and this is something I really, really need to work on reminding myself every day. 

Know that everything has a reason. 

Many of you might not be down with this idea, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Even the most horrific, awful things in my life have taught me something, have made me the person I am today. It's not easy to remember this when dealing with a crisis or heartbreak, but it's so important to remember that life is what it is. Some things are out of our control and we just have to realize that someday the reason for what happens will be explained. I do my best to learn from every mistake, every bad situation, and all of these little lessons have added up to make me the person I am right now. 

Look at the big picture of life. 

I try to ask myself this every time I'm freaking about something not being as perfect as I would like it to be: Will this matter in five months? Five years? Usually the answers to these questions are "NO!" Most of the things I get myself all worked up about don't really impact my life in the long run. Emotional wounds always heal with time. Though I might be panicky and worried right now, in a few days, weeks, months, or years, I won't be worried about it anymore. When I find that I'm stressing about something small (which I do more often than I should), I need to remind myself to look at the big picture and pose the questions: "How important is this? Is it really worth all of the stress and anxiety?"

Take time for a time out. 

Sometimes the best thing to do when I'm feeling like nothing is going the way I want it to go is to take a time out. Removing myself from a situation can be the best way to get a fresh perspective on it. When I'm working hard to get something perfect -- whether it be an outfit for a night out, a blog post, or a serious work-related task -- it's hard for me to step away. I'm in a zone and I'm focused and I don't want to waste any time. However, whenever I force myself to pull away from what I'm doing, I find that I usually come back with fresh ideas and a new perspective which helps me not to be so perfection-driven. 

Appreciate what's working for you. 

This goes back to the idea I talk about a lot - loving yourself. You most likely have a lot of great things going on and you don't even notice these things when you're focused on making everything perfect. When I'm seeking perfection, I don't take time to realize what's good in my life and my level of gratitude seems to be a lot lower. It's really important to realize what is awesome about your life and to be grateful for all of the things/people/experiences in it. Doing this will make perfection seem a lot less necessary. 

Those of you who aren't perfectionists might not really understand what a burden it can be to always be striving for this unobtainable goal. As I said above, there is no such thing as a perfect life. You might have a great life. You might have a happy life. But no one -- no matter how hard he or she tries -- will have a perfect life. This is a fact I must accept and embrace. Knowing that life will never be perfect, that I will never be perfect, will take a lot of the pressure off. If you know you can't be perfect, you have to settle for being the best you can be. And, right now, that sounds pretty good to me.

Do you battle with perfectionism? 
What advice would you add to what's written here?



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